How to write job appication letters correctly

Writing job application letters
The job application letter's sole purpose is to get the recipient to read your CV. It should be clear, concise and straight to the point. Here you are simply telling the employer that you are worth having a look at.
The application letter should be brief, no more than one page in length. It should be easy to read and flow through. It should include only the absolute necessary information. Like most other things, there is a formula that works extremely well for preparing job application letters. Following we discuss each paragraph and give you some guidelines.

Addressing job application letters:
The style you choose is not important, there are many different styles of job applications and professional letters, this comes down to personal preference. However somewhere on the top, whether it is on the right or left hand sides, there should be your address and the date. Following this, on the left hand side you should address it. Ensure you include the name of the person, their title, company name, address and any position reference number. This is probably obvious, but ensures that you spell their name correctly, nothing worse than receiving a letter incorrectly addressed or misspelled. It gives a poor first impression.

The Introductory Paragraph:
The first paragraph should simply state why you are writing to them. If it is an advertised position, mention the position title and where it was advertised. If you are "cold calling" a company then you should specify that you are applying for any current or future employment opportunities.
An easy way to start this paragraph is with the following statement: " Please find enclosed my CV, which I am forwarding to you as an application for the position of......."

The main body of job application letters:
The main body of the letter should be two to three paragraphs at the most. Here is where you tell them what you have to offer and why they should read your CV. This is a good time to read the job advertisement again. In one paragraph (two at the most) you need to summarize your experience and skills, at the same time, you need to respond to the position requirements as per the advertisement.
Analyze your career and summarize it in a few sentences, highlight what you specialized in, or how many years in the industry you might have, or even the level that you have reached. This paragraph should direct the reader to your CV and should sell you on some unique points that you might have.
A good way to start this paragraph is with a statement like this: "You will see from my enclosed CV...." then go ahead and tell them something about your career which will immediately get their interest.
The next part of the body of the letter should be a brief description of your personal skills. Again read the advertisement and respond to their needs. If they are asking for someone with good co-ordination skills, then ensure you mention something to that effect. If it is communication or perhaps leadership skills they value, then tell them that you have these. Use adjectives like "demonstrated ability", "well developed", "strong".
Job Application Letters Closing Paragraph:
The closing paragraph should ask for some action from the recipient. This is where you ask for an interview. It should also state where and how they can reach you, and it should thank the recipient for giving you the opportunity to apply. You can include things like "should you require further information....." .
Finish the letter by adding a closing remark, either "yours sincerely", "yours faithfully' or whatever you feel comfortable with and obeying general letter writing etiquette. Leave a few spaces for your signature and then place your full name.
Before you mail the application letter, read it over again, making sure that it is perfect. Special attention should be placed to ensure the letter:
It is not too long.
There are no grammar or spelling errors.
That you have answered the job requirements.
The application letter flows and is easy to read.You might have to type and edit the letter many times before you are happy with it, but just remember that the job application letter is just as important as the CV itself. The letter should invite the recipient to read the resume; in turn the resume should raise enough interest for them to want to interview you. The Interview is where you will demonstrate your skills and abilities.

Sample Letter of Inquiry

[Date]
[Address]
[Phone Number]
[Employer's Name and Title]
[Employer's Address]

Dear [Name of hiring manager]
I have been informed of a job opportunity as [specific position or area you are applying for] by [name of referrer]. I am a very interested in such a position because [qualifications or related work & interests].
I am currently employed at [name of organization] as [title of position].
or
I have just graduated from [name of academic organization]. [Achievements related to the position] [Note: Read Writing about achievements guide]
I look forward to further discuss this job opportunity and how I can contribute to the success of [name of organization].

Sincerely, [sign your name ] [type your name ]

SUSUNAN PENGURUS HISPPI-PNS KOTA PASURUAN 2007-2011

SUSUNAN DEWAN PENGURUS CABANG
Himpunan Seluruh Pendidik dan Penguji IndonesiaPendidikan Non Formal(DPC HISPPI PNF)Kota PasuruanMasa bakti tahun 2007 sampai dengan tahun 2011
Pelindung : 1. Walikota Pasuruan
2. Kepala Dinas P dan K Kota Pasuruan
Dewan Pembina : 1. Kasubdin Dikluseporabud P dan K Kota Pasuruan
2. Kasi PLS P dan K Kota Pasuruan
KETUA : MUHAMMAD YAHYA SS
SEKRETARIS : Drs.FAUZAN SURYANTARA, MM
BENDAHARA : IFFATUN NISA’, S.Pd
BIRO –BIRO :
1. Pembinaan Organisasi dan Hubungan Keanggotaan ::
RUSMAN BIANTORO, S.Pd2.
Akreditasi, Standarisasi dan Sertifikasi :
HIDAYAT
Pendidikan, Pelatihan dan Pengembangan Lembaga :
ABDULLAH NASIR, S.Kom
Hubungan Mayarakat dan Kerjasama :
SUWARNO
Media, Komunikasi, Publikasi dan TI :
ADAM RAHARDIAN

Pengurus ETC (English Testing Center) Pasuruan

Ketua : Drs. Supriyadi MM
Koordinator : Dra. Farida Himawati
Sekretaris : Iffatun Nisa’, S.Pd
Bendahara : Kholifatul Azizah S.Pd
Petugas Tes :
Naf’an Salahudin S.Pd
Sujito S.Pd
Juwita Kusmawati S.Pd
Tatik Siswi S.Pd
Rini Indah Ningsih S.Pd
Lucas Priyo Utomo S.Pd
Fauzah S.Pd

Workshop PTE

Program PTE – VEPT adalah suatu kegiatan pengembangan bahan, perangkat pembelajaran berupa tes standart yang difasilitasi oleh PPPPTK Bisnis Pariwisata, yang diharapkan bisa membantu guru mata pelajaraan bahasa Inggris di SMK memandu kualitas penilaiannya.Dengan penilaian guru yang mengacu pada PTE – VEPT maka upaya SMK untuk meningkatkan mutu pendidikan khususnya pada mata pelajaran bahasa Inggris, menjadi lebih mudah dicapai sampai ketingkat yang relevan dengan tuntutan kualitas pendidikan yang bertaraf internationalUntuk melaksanakan progran PTE – VEPT tersebut, ETC SMK Negeri 1 Pasuruan mengundang guru bahasa Inggris SMK Negeri maupun swasta di kota Pasuruan untuk menyelenggarakan Workshop PTE – VEPT pada :Hari / tanggal : Selasa, 28 Oktober 2008Jam : 08.00 – selesaiTempat : Ruang A, ETC – ITC SMKN 1 PasuruanUntuk mendukung pelaksanaan Workshop ini, setiap peserta dikenai biaya Rp 25.000 ( setiap sekolah diharapkan mengirim 3 orang guru bahasa Inggris kelas X, XI, dan XII dengan total biaya Rp. 75.000,- )Informasi lebih lanjut bisa anda dapatkan di ETC-SMKN 1 Pasuruan

HADIAH TERINDAH YANG TELAH TUHAN

Alkisah seorang raja yg kaya raya & sangat baik. Ia mempunyai banyaksekali emas & kuningan. Karena terlalu banyak sehingga antara emas &kuningan tercampur menjadi satu.Suatu hari raja yg baik hati ini memberikan hadiah emas kepada seluruhrakyatnya. Dia membuka gudangnya lalu mempersilahkan rakyatnyamengambilkepingan emas terserah mereka. Karena antara emas & kuningan tercampurmenjadi satu sehingga sulit sekali dibedakan mana yg emas & mana ygkuningan, lalu mana yg emasnya 24 karat & mana yg emasnya hanya 1 karat.Namun karena ada peraturan dari Sang Raja, yaitu bila mereka sudahMEMILIH & MENGAMBIL SATU dari emas itu, mereka tidak bolehmengembalikannya lagi.Tetapi raja menjanjikan bagi mereka yg mendapat emas hanya 1 karatatau mereka yg mendapatkan kuningan, mereka dapat bekerja di kebunraja &merawat pemberian raja itu dengan baik, maka raja AKAN MENAMBAH &MEMBERIKAN KADAR KARAT itu sedikit demi sedikit.Mendengar itu bersukacitalah rakyatnya, sambil mengelu-elukan rajanya.Mereka datang dari penjuru tempat dan satu persatu dari mereka denganberhati-hati mengamat-amati benda-benda itu. Waktu yg diberikan kepadamereka semua ialah SATU SETENGAH HARI, dengan perhitungan SETENGAHHARI UTK MEMILIH, SETENGAH HARI UTK MERENUNGKAN & SETENGAH HARI LAGIUTK MEMUTUSKAN.Para prajurit selalu siaga menjaga keamanan pemilihan emas tsb. Karenatidak jarang terjadi perebutan emas yg sama diantara mereka. Selamaprosespemilihan berlangsung, seorang prajurit mencoba bertanya kpd salahseorang rakyatnya, "Apa yg kau amat-amati, sehingga satu setengah harikau habiskan waktumu di sini?"Jawab orang itu: "Tentu saja aku harus berhati-hati, aku harusmendapatkan emas 24 karat itu."Lalu tanya prajurit itu lagi: "Seandainya emas 24 karat itu tidakpernah ada, atau hanya ada satu diantara setumpuk emas ini, apakahengkau masih saja mencarinya? Sedangkan waktumu sangat terbatas?"Jawab orang itu lagi: Tentu saja tidak, aku akan mengambil emasterakhir yg ada ditanganku begitu waktuku habis."Lalu prajurit itu berkeliling & ia menjumpai seorang yg tampan,melihat perangainya ia adalah seorang kaya. Bertanyalah prajurit itukepadanya,"Hai orang kaya apa yg kau cari di sini.Bukankah engkau sudah lebihdari cukup?"Jawab orang kaya itu, "Bagiku hidup adalah uang, kalau aku bisamengambil emas ini tentu saja itu berarti menambah keuntunganku. "Kemudian prajurit itu kembali mengawasi satu persatu dari mereka, makatampak olehnya seseorang yg sejak satu hari ia selalu menggenggamkepinganemasnya. Lalu dihampirinya orang itu, "Mengapa engkau diam di sini?Tidakkah engkau memilih emas-emas itu? Atau tekadmu sudah bulat untukmengambil emas itu?'Mendengar perkataan prajurit itu,orang ini hanya diam saja. Makaprajurit bertanya lagi,"Atau engkau yakin bahwa itulah emas 24 karat,sehingga engkau tidak lagi berusaha mencari yg lain?"Orang itu masih terdiam, prajurit itu semakin penasaran. Lalu ia lebihmendekat lagi, "Tidakkah engkau mendengar pertanyaanku? "Sambil menatap prajurit, orang itu menjawab: "Tuan,saya ini orangmiskin. Saya tidak pernah tahu mana yg emas & mana yg kuningan. TetapiHATI SAYA MEMILIH EMAS INI, saya pun tidak tahu berapa kadar emas ini.Atau jika ternyata emas ini hanya kuningan pun saya juga tidak tahu.""Lalu mengapa engkau tidak mencoba bertanya kepada mereka ataukepadaku kalau engkau tidak tahu." Tanya prajurit itu lagi."Tuan, emas & kuningan ini milik raja. Jadi menurut saya hanya raja ygtahu mana yg emas & mana yg kuningan, mana yg 1 karat & mana yg 24karat. Tetapi satu hal yg saya percaya, janji raja untuk mengubahkuningan menjadi emas, itu yg lebih penting." Jawabnya lugu.Prajurit ini semakin penasaran, "Mengapa bisa begitu?""Bagi saya berapa pun kadar emas ini cukup buat saya. Karena kalausaya bekerja, saya membutuhkan waktu bertahun-tahun untukmembeli emas Tuan."Prajurit tampak tercengang mendengar jawaban dari orang ini, lalu iamelanjutkan perkataannya, "Lagipula Tuan, peraturannya saya tidakboleh menukar emas yg sudah saya ambil.""Tidakkah engkau mengambil emas-emas yg lain & menukarnya sekarangselagi masih ada waktu?" Tanya prajurit lagi."Saya SUDAH MENGGUNAKAN WAKTU ITU, kini waktu setengah hari terakhirsaya, inilah saatnya saya mengambil keputusan. Jika saya GANTIKAN EMASINI DENGAN YANG LAIN, BELUM TENTU SAYA MENDAPAT YG LEBIH BAIK DARIPUNYA SAYA INI.Saya memutuskan untuk mengabdi pada raja & merawat milik saya ini,untuk menjadikannya emas yg murni."Tak lama lagi lonceng istana berbunyi, tanda berakhir sudah kegiatanmereka. Lalu raja keluar & berdiri ditempat yg tinggi sambilberkata,"Wahai rakyatku yg kukasihi. Semua emas yg kau genggam ituadalah hadiah yg telah kuberikan. Sesuai dengan perjanjian, tidakseorang pun diperbolehkan menukar atau pun menyia-nyiakan hadiah itu.Jika didapati hal di atas maka orang itu akan MENDAPAT HUKUMAN karenaia tidak menghargai raja."Kata-kata raja itu disambut hangat oleh rakyatnya. Lalu sekali lagi dihadapan rakyatnya raja ingin memberitahu tentang satu hal, "Danketahuilah,bahwa sebenarnya tidak ada emas 24 karat itu. Hal ini dimaksudkanbahwa kalian semua harus mengabdi kepada kerajaan. Dan hanya akulah ygdapatmenambah jumlah karat itu, karena akulah yg memilikinya. Selama satusetengah hari, setengah hari yg kedua yaitu saat kuberikan waktukepada kalian semua untuk merenungkan pilihan, kalian kutunggu untukdatang kepadaku menanyakan perihal emas itu. Tetapi sayang sekali,hanya 1 orang yg datang kepadaku untuk menanyakannya. "Demikianlah raja yg baik hati & bijaksana itu mengajar rakyatnya. Danselama bertahun-tahun ia dengan sabar menambah karat satu persatu dariemasrakyatnya.(Dikutip dari: "When We Have to Choice" / Kumpulan Sharing & Cerpen)Berharap melalui alkisah di atas kita dapat merefleksi diri dalammencari pasangan hidup:BAGI YANG SEDANG MENCARI PASANGAN(setengah hari untuk memilih)MEMILIH memang boleh, tapi MANUSIA TIDAK ADA YG SEMPURNA, jangan lupaemas-emas itu milik sang raja jadi hanya dia yangtahu menahu masalah itu.Artinya setiap manusia milik Tuhan, jadi berdoalah untuk berkomunikasidenganNYA tentang pasangan anda.BAGI YANG TELAH MEMPEROLEH PASANGAN(setengah hari untuk merenungkan)Mungkin pertama kali Anda mengenal, si dia nampak emas 24 karat.Ternyata setelah bertahun-tahun kenal, si dia hanya berkadar 10 karat.Diluar,memang KITA DIHADAPKAN DENGAN BANYAK PILIHAN, sama dengan rakyat yangmemilih emas tadi. Akan tetapi pada saat KITA SUDAHMENDAPATKANNYA BELUM TENTU WAKTU KITA MELEPASKANNYA KITA MENDAPAT YGLEBIH BAIK. Jadi jika dalam tahap ini Anda merasa telah mendapatkandia, hal yang terbaik dilakukan ialah menilai secara objective siapadia (karena itu KETERBUKAAN & KOMUNIKASI sangat penting dalam menjalinhubungan) dan MENYELARASKAN HATI.Anda bersamanya.. Begitu Anda tahu tentang HAL TERJELEK dalam dirinyasebelum Anda menikah itu lebih baik. Dengan demikian Anda tidak merasashock setelah menikah. Tinggal BAGAIMANA ANDA MENERIMANYA. Anda mampumenerimanya atau tidak, Anda mengusahakan perubahannya atau tidak."CINTA SELALU BERJUANG" Jangan anggap tidak pernah ada masalah dalamjalan cinta Anda. Justru jika dalam tahap ini Anda tidak pernahmengalami masalah dengan pasangan Anda (TIDAK PERNAH BERTENGKARMUNGKIN) Anda malah harus berhati-hati, karena ini adalah hubungan ygtidak sehat, berarti banyak kepura-puraan yang ditampilkan dalamhubungan Anda.Yg terpenting adalah NIAT BAIK DIANTARA PASANGAN, sehingga denganKOMITMEN & CINTA, SEGALA SESUATU SELALU ADA JALAN KELUARNYA. Meskipundalam tahap ini Anda masih punya waktu setengah hari lagi untukmemutuskan, artinya Anda masih dapat berganti pilihan, akan tetapiPERTIMBANGKAN DENGAN BAIK hal ini.BAGI YANG TELAH MENIKAH(setengah hari untuk memutuskan)Dalam tahap ini, siapa pun dia berarti Anda telah mengambil keputusanuntuk memilihnya. Jangan berpikir untuk mengambil keuntungan daripasangan Anda. Jika ini terjadi berarti Anda EGOIS, sama halnya denganorang kaya di atas.Dan dengan demikian Anda TIDAK PERNAH PUAS DENGAN DIRI PASANGAN ANDA,maka tidak heran banyak terjadi perselingkuhan. Andatidak boleh merasa menyesal dengan pilihan Anda sendiri. Jangan kuatirraja selalu memperhatikan rakyatnya dan menambah kadar karat padaemasnya.Jadi percayalah kalau Tuhan pasti akan memperhatikan Anda dan DIA YANGPALING BERKUASA MENGUBAH SETIAP ORANG. Perceraian bukanlah solusi,sampai kapan kita harus menikah lalu bercerai, menikah lagi & bercerailagi??Ingatlah si dia adalah HADIAH, siapa pun dia terimalah dia karenasekali lagi itulah pilihan Anda.Ingat ini adalah setengah hari terakhir yaitu waktu untuk memutuskan,setelah itu Anda tidak boleh menukar atau menyia-nyiakan emas Anda.Jadipeliharalah pasangan Anda sebagaimana HADIAH TERINDAH YANG TELAH TUHANBERIKAN. Dan apa pun yang terjadi dengan pasanganAnda komunikasikanlah dengan Tuhan, KARENA DIA YANG MEMILIKI HATI SETIAPMANUSIA

IZINKAN AKU MELUPAKANMU

Wahai engkau yang pernah singgah di lubuk hatiku
Izinkan aku untuk melupakan bayanganmu di hatiku
Akan kuhapus segala memori indah yang pernah terjadi dahulu

Biarkan aku melangkah dengan pijakan pada kakiku
Jangan kau sandungi dengan beban kenangan
Yang akan membelenggu langkahku
Jangan kau siksadengan cinta semu
Yang akan menghancurkan harapanku

Ya, izinkan aku untuk melupakanmu
Sepenuh hatiku
Segenap jiwaku
Seluruh perasaanku
(Fadlan Al-Ikhwani)
Kujemput Jodohku

MASIH

Untukmu yang disana.....

Jangan kau kira aku tak lagi merindumu

Jangan kau kira aku tak lagi mengharapmu

Jangan kau kira aku tak lagi pedulikanmu

Jangan kau kira aku tak lagi mencintamu

                                   Jangan...

     Untukmu yang disana....

     Kau masih tetap ada

     Kau masih tetap terindah

     Kau masih tetap kucinta

     Dan ku masih tetap terjaga

     Masih.........

________________

Ruang Rapat SMKN 1 Pasuruan, July 21, 2008 at 10.10 A.M

Aku buat puisi ini ketika ngikuti rapat ISO 2000: 9001. Karena diserang kebosanan sampai stadium 4 so aku buat puisi. Kata SOBATku, Visa and Tatik, bagus jika dipostingin. 

2 Steps To Get Him Back "In Love"

Christian Carter

Imagine being back in that place you were in when you and the man in your life first started getting to know each other।
Imagine having him excited just to be with youand be close to you the way he used to be.
Imagine everything suddenly feeling EASY andfree again, the way love is supposed to when it'sworking.
Now imagine that this can happen right away foryou in your relationship, if you just put a few ofthe right tools and steps into place.
Step #1: Shifting From Blaming & Criticism to Vulnerability
A man doesn't want a woman who's upset, irritable, and hard to be close to.
In fact, that's the last thing most men want,and the first reason most men start thinking aboutleaving a relationship with a woman they used tolove.
But most women don't become hard-edged, annoyedand worn down by their man and relationship on purpose.
They stop getting what they want, and so theystart to build WALLS and shut down the part of them that was VULNERABLE and that a man could love in the first place.
Does any of this sound familiar?
Think back to the last time you were in a fight with your man or he did or said somethingthat really got under your skin?
How did you react?
Did you feel yourself tighten and become disconnected from him emotionally?
Was it difficult to open up and really LISTEN to what he had to say because all you could thinkabout was how wrong he was?
I get it.
When you're feeling resentful or disconnected from a man because he's hurt you, the LAST thing you want to do is to become softer, more vulnerable or accepting of the love and attentionhe wants to give you.
That's because when your man has let you downin some way, your normal reaction is to PUSH HIMAWAY.
You do that because you want him to know and to FEEL how much you're hurting, and you want himto see you and love you.
But instead of loving him to get you to love you back, you do things like:
-Criticize him-Pretend like nothing is wrong and withdraw-Get angry at little things he says-Withhold your love, affection, and sex-Give him the "silent treatment"
But if it's MORE that you want, why is it sooften that you find yourself giving LESS?
For most women, this happens because they already feel like they are giving too much of themselves.
And that they're the only one giving, or they're just not getting much if anything backfor all that they do for their guy.
Sound familiar?
You start to think that everything you're doing for the relationship is a chore, or just plain hard work, and you let him know in obvious (and not so obvious) ways.
You start to see not just the thing he didthat upset you--but ALL the ways he upsets youor irritates you.
So all the little things he does that were justlittle annoying "quirks" before become one of themany major reasons why things just aren't "working."
One thing sets it off, but now he can't do ANYTHING right in your eyes.
But here's the result of going down those paths- they never get you the solution you're REALLY looking for, or get you what you really want andneed from your man.
Which is - more love and affection. More understanding. More connection.
There's a better way.
What if, instead of shutting down and becoming blaming and critical of him, you OPENED UP and shifted out of and away from the things that weren't working?
What if instead of intellectually thinking about how wrong he is, and how justified YOU are in what you did or said, you could just stop andget in touch with what you're feeling, and what you really want?
Do you think your guy would respond differently?
Do you think it would have an impact on your relationship?
You bet it would.
But of course all this is easier said than doneIN THE MOMENT.
In fact, being able to open and love MORE inthe tough times when you feel like your relationship is giving you LESS is hard.
When someone hurts or upsets you, and you feelunappreciated or unloved, the last thing you wantto do is sit around and figure out why you're feeling the way you do, and look at what else youcan do to make things better.
Instead, you want HIM to get with it and startgiving to you the way you've been giving to him.
But with this feeling you often want to try andfix things right away, you RESIST the hard feelings that come up inside you and, instead, push them OUTWARDS at him.
This is when you get into "blaming", "criticizing" or "needy" mode, which sometimes makes you feel a tiny bit better...but only for alittle while until you see that your guy only pulls farther away afterwards.
It doesn't take a psychologist to see that thisis NOT a great strategy for inspiring your guy, for finding more love and happiness, and for building a lasting long-term relationship.
So how do you get out of a destructive and dead-end pattern?
It's often the things we don't think to try that, when we finally give them a chance, createamazing results in our lives.
And that means trying something that feels veryCOUNTERINTUITIVE.
That means stepping out of your comfort zone and doing something different than what feels "normal" and "obvious" in order to change the outcome.
Here's what I'm getting at.
When you find yourself in that place where youbegin to tighten up and resist because your emotions and frustrations are welling up inside you, instead of trying to quickly feel better and ignore or hiding those feelings, give yourself somespace.
Try feeling it MORE.
That's right - really get deep into what you'refeeling and find the words to describe it.
Take a minute to let yourself become aware of WHERE these feelings are really coming from.
Then, once you've had a tiny bit of time to feel it and understand it a little bit for yourself, you can share what you're feeling withyour man.
Not only will you start to learn and grow by leaps and bounds in your own heart and mind with this simple exercise...
But your relationship will suddenly start to look and feel differently to you, as your man will react differently to you and stay closer and moreopen to you and what you're going through.
In other words, by giving yourself space to feel what you feel, you also make space for your real feelings in your relationship and to be feltand more understood by your man.
And it's these moments that create that intense, deep CONNECTION and love that is what a relationship is all about.
Let me ask you:
When was the last time you had the experienceof a really intense pain or emotion you felt beingtaken in and understood and talked through with you by your man?
When was the last time your man said, "Wow, Ididn't know you felt that way. I'm sorry. Is thereanything I can do"?
If you're like some women I've talked to and helped over the years, then it's been way, way toolong since you've felt emotionally supported and heard by a man in this way.
Instead, they seem to react with withdrawal, irritation, anger or frustration each time you tell them how you're feeling.
And it's only making you more frustrated.
It's time you feel more supported, and your manstarts being this way with you on a regular basis.
Which leads you to something important here -a CHOICE.
You have a choice about how you're going tokeep on handling your own feelings and emotions inyour relationship.
And you have a choice in how your feelings aregoing to shape your experience and yourrelationship.
You can keep doing what you've been doing and hope that it starts to work once a man finally figures it out and gets with it.
Or...
You can try something you might not have thought to try before -
Which is actually opening and sharing more ofyour deeper FEELINGS, instead of your busy THOUGHTS.
If you try the new way I'm going to show you,then get ready to watch as you get a differentoutcome and response from your man that you might have not thought possible from around yourfeelings.
Here are some examples of what I'm talkingabout:
Let's say you notice that your guy has a wandering eye, and it upsets you.
Should you say something?
Should you stay quiet and try to not let it bother you because "men are men"?
The key here is respecting yourself, your trueemotions, and sharing what you're feeling, not what you're THINKING.
Otherwise, you'll not only put more distance between you and your man...
But he probably won't know why you're upset andhe'll eventually feel irritated that you're unhappy for some unknown reason.
So if it's your true feelings that are important, what do you say?
THINKING Statement:
"You must not be attracted to me anymore since you obviously want other women."
Wrong. This is sure to only create a new problem that probably isn't about what's really going on in the first place.
FEELING Statement:
"I feel really scared and gross when you look at or flirt with other women in front of me."
What's going on here, and what's the difference?
You're talking about the same thing, but beingopen and honest enough to stick to your FEELINGS about what's happening, instead of moving to judgment, is what makes all the difference with a man and making sure he listens and opens up to youin return.
Let's try another example.
Let's say your guy doesn't call and he's 30 minutes late to meet you or pick you up.
How could he do that and not call?
If he had just called, it wouldn't have been abig deal.
Why didn't he?
THINKING Statement:
"You're either dumb or insane if you think you can show up here 30 minutes late and not call andI won't be angry at you. What's your problem?"
FEELING Statement:
"I feel upset and confused because I don't understand why you didn't call."
Do you see how the two feel very different?
One feels very offensive, blaming, and antagonistic. It actually raises the level ofconflict, and creates tension and distance.
The other one is an "opening" kind of question that actually allows for truth, honesty andpromotes answers and understanding.
Oh, and which one do you think a man willrespond better to?
Your thinking statements, or your feeling ones?
I can practically guarantee you that a man willeither shut down and feel annoyed or withdraw from you, or escalate things and get into an argument with you and not give you any understanding if youused the thinking statements in the abovesituation.
But if you used the FEELING statements above, and you left space after them for your guy to saysomething...
Very quickly he'd start to listen, explain himself, and either apologize or give you the understanding and respect you just wanted in thefirst place.
But here's a catch, and where most women messthis up even though they start out with their FEELINGS:
Once you open up and admit your true feelings,you can't keep going on and on about it.
You have to allow time for a man to processwhat you just said, and not "rush" things justbecause you feel uncomfortable and want him to hear you and say something immediately.
Most men - about 99.9% of them - do NOT move this fast from one emotion to the next.
So when you try and take them with you on that ride, things will just turn ugly.
This is just a small part of some of the secrets to inspiring a man to be an open and endlessly understanding partner to you.
If you want all of my best stuff about men andwhat creates love and devotion in a man to where he'll be the loving partner with you he didn't even know he had in him, then you need to go checkout my "Relationship TurnAround" program anddiscover what gets men to open up and stay open with everything from love to sex to communicationto monogamy.
Step #2: Invite Love, Don't Demand It
Have you felt hurt or angry at your man andfound yourself saying a whole bunch of things that started with: "I need. I want. I deserve.You should. You need to. You'd better"?
If those phrases sound familiar to you, that'sbecause you were talking from the space of ENTITLEMENT.
Meaning, you felt like you were "entitled" ordeserved to have your man do or say something tomake you feel better about yourself or the relationship.
You can have very good reasons for feelingthis way.
Maybe you feel like you've been doing all theWORK in the relationship, and all the sharing, while all he's done is get distant or confuse youwith what he says and does.
Maybe you've been doing your best to make him happy and you've been withholding how you REALLY feel because you don't want to hurt him or start a fight.
So you feel stifled and powerless in the relationship.
After doing that sort of thing long enough,it's no wonder you feel like you DESERVE and NEEDto get the love, respect and consideration back that you've put in.
And yeah, you do deserve all those things.
It doesn't make much sense to you that he doesn't see or realize how hard you've been working to make things right between you.
But in a man's mind, when he sees you shuttingdown, pushing him away, and then he hears you telling him how he needs to be doing this, or howhe'd better do that, it doesn't make much sense to him, either.
When you're feeling hurt and start telling him,"You should" or "You really need to", you'll likely not get the kind of reaction you're expecting.
Instead of seeing how you feel, a man will simply SHUT DOWN and back even further away from you.
A man has to have HIS OWN REASONS for wantingto do all the things that make you happy and keep your relationship strong.
You can never, ever, ever tell a man how to feel or act - just as a man should never do this with you.
But you can INSPIRE a man, and you can share what it is that you like, love and want.
And therein lies the secret of having a relationship where the man in your life is irresistibly attracted and devoted to you.
Fortunately, there's a way to ask for what you need that will have him WANTING to give you more.
This way is not about ENTITLEMENT, blaming ordemands...
But by INVITING him, by opening up and making it very easy for him to give you want you want. (Men love nothing more than feeling like it's easy for them to make you happy as a woman- but only when they feel like it's THEIR CHOICE.)
Wow. Sounds complicated and like it's too muchwork.
Wrong.
It's dumb-easy once you know how.
You can start to create these powerful shifts in the way your man responds to you simply bychanging the way you phrase things.
Instead of saying, "I need you to..."
You can say, "It would really make me feel loved if you were to..."
I can't tell you how much most women resistdoing this because they think it's silly. but whenthey finally speak the words they work like MAGIC.
Try it.
Here's another.
Instead of telling him, "You should really needto (do this or that)"...
You can invite him by saying, "It would really make me happy if you would (doing this or that)."
It doesn't take much to shift your energy andbecome more inviting and therefore INSPIRE your man to want to give you more of what you want andneed.
If you're not convinced, think back to a time when you felt hurt or angry and you closed off to your man. You blamed him. You didn't talk to him for hours or days. You criticized and demanded.
How did he respond?
Did he become more generous and tender withyou?
Or did he become defensive or distant?
I think you'll realize that the energy you bring to your relationship has a HUGE effect on what you get out of it।

In order to turn a troubled relationship around, chances are you need to get back to the relaxed, feminine woman you used to be before things got really tense and draining between you.
Problems in relationships tend to accumulate over time and build up a lot of fear, anger or resentment in people.
One of the reasons it can seem so difficult tomove forward and get through the hard times is because of all that built-up fear and negative emotion।

Getting back to the "real you" and getting back in touch with the relaxed, feminine woman you used to be is very important.
How do I know?
Because the most common realization I hearwomen have when they break up a relationship thatwasn't working is that they LOST THEMSELVES.
They didn't consciously choose to ignore their own needs and desires.
It usually happens because the woman is sofocused on trying to make her relationship work, or because she's so devoted to her man that she virtually IGNORES other aspects of her life.
Like her friends.
Or the activities she used to enjoy when shewas single.
Or the way she looks and feels.
If you wonder if maybe you've put parts of yourself aside in order to protect or save yourrelationship with your man, and you want to dosomething important and positive for YOURSELF for a change...
Something that will actually change the quality of your relationship in an amazing way...
Then I recommend you try out my "Relationship Turnaround" program for free for 30 days.
Go to this link below and order your trial copy, and if you're not convinced it's the best thing you've done to improve your relationship EVER, then send it back and I won't charge यू anything.
It's that simple, and it's completely risk-free।

http://www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/FCTC

How To Amplify Your Personal Magnetism by Joshua Uebergang

I'm going to straight out say that I think you
would have heard all these tips at some time in your
life.
  However, the fact is, these are fundamental to
increasing your personal magnetism and improving
your relationships.
  Athletes know that fundamentals of their sport are
not only what most people consider "the basics", but
they also know that fundamentals are often more
powerful than "advanced tricks, tips, and
techniques."
  Fundamentals can produce exponential effects while
advanced techniques give you a little extra edge over
others and the situation.
  There are people out there trying to learn the
advanced skills and tactics, while simply learning
the fundamentals and having them as an integral part
of their living is what will be more beneficial to
the person.
  I'm not just talking about this from a
communication standpoint. Think about how it applies
to sports, wealth, happiness, eating, and health.
  The fundamentals of your personal magnetism and
relationships need to constantly be revisited,
practiced, and maintained because I bet that you're
either not doing them at all or doing them that well.
  People may want advanced communication skills, but
often, all they need are the fundamentals.
  Here are 3 powerful fundamentals to improve your
relationships (Beware of that! Relationships! These
are communication skills that are just as useful - if
not more useful - with your partner and those close
to you. Keep that in mind as your read the principles
below.)
1. Be Interested In People

  "I've heard that one before" I hear you say. Good.
However, are you ACTUALLY interested in people
instead of thinking you "know it"?

  The next time you have a conversation with someone,
be interested in them. Ask questions, empathize, get
excited with them.

  This isn't just a social skill, it's a fundamental
relationship skill. Get interested in your partner's
life. Get interested in your coworkers hobbies. Get
interested in your child's sport.

  By becoming interested, you'll become interesting.

  You'll also provide a fundamental need to the
person you are showing interested in. That need is
the need to be listened to, admired, and understood.

2. Make People Feel Important
  Admire other's accomplishments, compliment them,
and do other things to make them feel important.
  Most people do this poorly in a manipulative manner
that lacks healthy intent or in a manner that isn't
believable (think of a parent who tells their child
they are the "smartest looking in their school").

  In my "Communication Secrets of Making People Like
You", I discuss this in depth. Manipulative praise
often derives from trying to improve the person's
confidence, self-esteem, and in an effort to provide
emotional security.

  Successfully making a person feel important is not
just stroking the person's ego, but it is also shows
them that you acknowledge their efforts. It shows
that you care.

3. Be Comfortable With Yourself
  Being comfortable with yourself has several
elements. It includes, but not limited to, being able
to laugh at yourself, having good self-esteem and
confidence, having composure, and other things that
communicate inner peace.
  Nothing is so disturbing to a relationship as
someone who is so disturbed within oneself.
  The person can be aggressive towards others,
frustrated, and generally uncomfortable with
onself.
  Inner discomfort destroys outer comfort.
  A lot of outer problems originate from a core, in
our case with regards to relationships and personal
magnetism, your mind.
  People want "relationship fixes" while what they
actually need is a "mind fix."
  In my "Communication Secrets of Making People Like
You" program, I call this the "Window Principle."
What you experience inside of yourself infects others
in more ways than one. Mastering this principle can
be quite complex, but I've set out a simple way you
can use this principle in the program.
  How your partner, children, and friends deal with
you, is often how you deal with yourself.
  If you have frustration within, people will
probably be frustrated with you.
  If you're unhappy within, people will probably be
unhappy around you.
  Comfort within gets transferred to others being
comfortable around you. Your partner and others will
want to be around you and experience a better
relationship with you, if you're comfortable.

  Being able to laugh at yourself (don't do it
frequently otherwise you'll look more like a
goofball or a clown) is one-way of communicating
inner comfort.

  Overall, the three principles (1. Be Interested In
People 2. Make People Feel Important 3. Be
Comfortable With Yourself) is similar to the ACE
approach:
  - Appreciate
  - Connect
  - Elevate

  If you haven't realized it yet, there are several
powerful sentences or "quotes" throughout this
newsletter that you may wish to copy, paste, and
store for future reference.

  Most of these principles are applied to a social
context. That is, they relate to popularity,
conversation skills, and being a more social person.
However, I encourage you to see the principle's
application in your personal relationships.

  In my "Communication Secrets of Making People Like
You" program, the same holds true. While the many
powerful communication secrets are applicable to
conversations and social skills to improve your fun,
personality, and life, they are more vitally
important for great relationships with your partner,
children, and coworkers.

CINTA TAK BERSYARAT

Aku mencintaimu tanpa syarat
Seperti sang surya yang hangatkan jiwaku
Seperti sang bulan yang terangi temaramku
Seperti sang bintang yang gemerlap di langit hatiku

Aku mencintaimu tanpa syarat
Tak perlu kau turunkan berat badanmu
Tak perlu kau ubah wajahmu biar tampan
Tak perlu kau ubah warna kulitmu biar putih
Tak perlu….

Aku mencintaimu tanpa syarat
Tak perlu kau bertanya mengapa
Diamlah!
Dengarkan!

Aku mencintaimu tanpa syarat 
Karena kamu adalah kamu
Puaskah kamu?
____________
Bengkel Ilmoe_ku
Saturday, June 28, 2008 at 11.12 P.M

Keagungan Bulan Rajab yang Mulia

Kata “Rajab” berasal dari bahasa Arab yang berarti “Agung”. Diberikannya kata Rajab pada bulan itu karena bangsa Arab menghormati dan mengagungkannya, sampai-sampai pintu Ka’bah dibukakan oleh para petugasnya selama satu bulan penuh selama bulan Rajab, padahal dilain bulan hanya dibuka tiap hari Senin dan Kamis. Orang-orang Arab berkata bahwa bulan Rajab adalah bulan Allah, Ka’bah adalah rumah Allah, dan orang muslim adalah hamba Allah, maka tidak dilarang hamba Allah memasuki rumah Allah didalam bulan Allah.
Dikatakan bahwa kata “Rajab” terdiri dari tiga huruf “Ra” menunjukkan rahmat Allah, “Ja” menunjukkan dosa dan maksiat hambanya, dan “Ba” menunjukkan barakahnya Allah, seakan-akan Allah berfirman:
“Hai hambaku! Aku telah menempatkan dosa dan maksiatmu diantara barokah dan rahmatKu, maka tidak akan dicata lagi bagimu dosa atau maksiat karena kehormatan bulan Rajab”. (Majalisul-Abrar)
Diceritakan bahwa bulan Rajab sesudah berakhir naiklah ia ke langit dan ditanya oleh Allah: “Apakah ia mencintaimu dan menghormatimu?” Lalu berkata si Rajab setelah Allah mengulangi pertanyaanNya yang kedua dan ketiga kalinya: “Ya Tuhanku! Engkaulah penutup segala aib dan memerintahkan hambaMu menutupi aib sesanya. RasulMu memberi julukan tuli padaku. Aku telah mendengar taat dan ibadah hamba-hambamu dan tidak mendengar maksiatnya”. Kemudian Allah SWT berfirman: “Engkau adalah bulanKu beraib dan hamba-hambaKu pula beraib. Aku telah terima mereka dengan segala aib-aibnya demi kehormatanMu sebagaimana Aku telah menerimamu dan aibmu dan dengan satu penyesalan Aku telah mengampuni mereka dan tidak mencatat maksiat-maksiatnya”.
Dikatakan bahwa bulan Rajab adalah bulan TULI, karena dalam bulan itu para malaikat yang bertugas mencatat amal-amal manusia, hanya mencatat amal-amal kebajikan dan tidaklah mencatat kejahatan dan maksiat berlainan dengan lain-lain bulan dimana kebajikan dan kejahatan dicatat bersamaan. Karena dalam bulan Rajab mereka tidaklah mendengar kejahatan atau maksiat yang dicatat. (Misykatul-Anwar)
Diriwayatkan bahwa Rasulullah bersabda:
“Barang siapa bangun malam untuk ibadah pada malam pertama di bulan Rajab tidak akan mati hatinya jika hati-hati lain mati dan Allah menuangkan kebajikan di atas kepalanya, bebas dari dosa-dosanya seperti hari ia dilahirkan oleh ibunya dan memberi syafaat kepada tujuh puluh ribu ahli maksiat yang sudah patut masuk neraka”. (Lubbul Albab)
Diriwayatkan oleh Anas bin Malik bahwa Rasulullah bersabda:
“Barang siapa di suatu malam dari bulan Rajab bersembahyang dua puluh rakaat dengan membaca tiap-tiap rakaat surat Al-Fatihah dan surat Al-Ikhlas dan bersalam duapuluh kali, oleh Allah akan dilindungi dia dan keluarga serta anak-anaknya dari bala’ di dunia dan adzab di akherat”. (Zubdah)
Diriwayatkan bahwa Rasulullah bersabda:
“Sesungguhnya belan Rajab adalah bulan Allah yang tuli. Barang siapa dalam bulan itu berpuasa sehari penuh dengan penuh iman dan ikhlas, patut memperoleh ridha Allah yang terbesar dan barang siapa berpuasa dua hari tidak dapat digambarkan oleh langit dan bumi kemuliaan apa yang tersedia baginya di sisi Tuhan, dan barang siapa berpuasa tiga hari diselamatkan dari segala bala’ di dunia dan adzab di akherat dan dari penyakit gila, kusta, sopak dan dari fitnahnya Dajjal, dan siapa berpuasa tujuh hari tertutup baginya tujuh pintu neraka dan siapa berpuasa delapan hari terbuka baginya delapan pintu surga dan siapa berpuasa sepuluh hari segala apa yang diminta Allah akan memberinya dan siapa berpuasa limabelas hari diampuni oleh Allah segala dosanya yang telah lalu dan digantinya dengan kebajikan dan barang siapa menambah akan ditambahkannya pahala baginya oleh Allah”.
Diriwayatkan oleh Abu Hurairah ra. bahwa Rosulullah bersabda:
“Selain bulan Ramadhan tidak ada puasa kecuali bulan Rajab dan Sya’ban”.
Menurut riwayat Buchari dan Muslim, Rasulullah SAW bersabda:
“Sesungguhnya di surga ada suatu sungai bernama “Rajab”, warnanya lebih putih dari susu, rasanya lebih manis dari madu. Brang siapa berpuasa sehari dalam bulan Rajab akan diberi minum oleh Allah dari sungai itu”.
Diriwayatkan bahwa Sayidian Abubakar ra. berkata:
Jika sepertiga malam telah lewat pada hari Jumat pertama dibulan Rajab, maka berkumpullah di Ka’bah semua malaikat yang berada di langit maupun di bumi dengan tiada ada yang ketinggalan. Disitu mereka dipandang oleh Allah dan mendengarkan firmanNya: “Hai MalaikatKu! Mintalah sesukamu!” “Ya Tuhan kami!, berkata para malaikat, “Permintaan kami ialah bahwa Tuhan mengampuni orang-orang yang berpuasa di bulanRajab”. “Aku telah mengampuni mereka”jawab Tuhan.
Pembaca yang budiman, bulan Rajab adalah bulan Allah. Maka marilah kita berlomba-lomba mendekatkan diri kepadaNya karena bulan ini adalah bulan yang agung nan mulia dimana Allah memberi banyak keistimewaan bagi hamba-hambaNya yang dengan penuh ikhlas menjalankan segala ibadah di bulan ini, yakni dengan menjalankan ibadah sunnah, berpuasa dan sholat di sepertiga malam terakhir. Demikian artikel ini semoga bermanfaat bagi kita dan mendapat syafa’at dari Allah .
_________
Penulis menghaturkan beribu-ribu terima kasih kepada:
Ibuku, Lutfiyah, yang telah banyak menghadiahi buku-buku Islami yang dahsyat dan menggetarkan jiwa .

H. M Arifin Madjid, S.H, juru dakwah masjid Tembok Indah Pasuruan, yang telah memberi banyak masukan dan referensi melaului kajian-kajiannya sehingga memperkaya pengetahuan keislaman penulis.

5 Tips to Increase Your Power with People

Why is power important to you?

Regardless of who you are or how ethical you think
you are, having more power with people will benefit
you under one condition.
You have the intention of creating win-win
situations. Yes, power can be misused, but those who
misuse their power lose their power.
Once you've got the intention of creating win-win
situations, then you can begin increasing your power
with people and learn to keep it.
Having power with people empowers you to make
changes. It gives you the skills to not be
manipulated by others. It increases your
attractiveness. And yes, it wins you friends.
Try these 5 tips for yourself and you'll
see how having more power benefits your life:
#1 Avoid overly emotional responses. People who
become overly emotional in situations, no matter the
situation's emotional intensity, are less powerful.
When someone becomes emotional towards you, do not
react to their sub-standard behavior. Emotionally
hold your ground and you will increase your power,
while making other people see the emotionally-
respondent person as inferior and out of control.
Those who can control their emotional responses are
in control of the conversation and their life. Humans
are attracted to composure and poise.
#2 Planning. Plan as much as you can for as long as
you can. People who plan are prepared for life's
rocky roads which enables those people to effortlessly
get through their problems. They are in control
instead of being controlled.
Plan in advance what you want to talk about from
the beginning to end and how you will talk about it.
You don't need to stick to your plan, but use it as
a guideline. Planning will remove uncertainty and
fear while reducing failure.
#3 Seek attention. Don't seek attention in a needy
unconfident manner. Rather, learn to attract
attention such that you are on people's minds. For
businesses, this means frequent and effective
marketing.
For you, it means wearing uniquely fashionable
clothing with a fabulous posture. Get a hair-cut that
other people like and which makes you feel good. Wear
something unique like a necklace, ring, or a patch of
white coloring in your hair.
Create a physical self-image different to others
that you wholely enjoy. Make yourself standout in a
mature way and you will be on people's minds. People
will come to you.
#4 Avoid commitment. This particular rule applies
to the situation when you have a decision between
two other parties. Does it always apply to all
situations? Of course not. The fourth rule is to be
used in situations where your lack of commitment is
more beneficial than committing to one party.
Sometimes two people in conflict will try to pull
you into their side of the argument. Additionally,
being overly committed to a person too early on in a
relationship can signal neediness and a lack of power
and freedom, all unattractive qualities.
People who commit communicate their intentions. By
being on two or more sides, instead of commiting to
one, all parties seek your attention allowing you to
do what you want to them both. You can manipulate
them both to your benefit if that is your choice.
When you avoid commitment, people are given hope
that you will commit to them. They will become
frustrated, but will remain interested in you because
of their hope in swaying you to their side.
#5 Becareful of dangerous enemies. Before you make
enemies with someone by saying or doing something
harsh, know who you are dealing with. Annoy the wrong
person and they may do all that is within their power
to hurt you and your reputation.
Some people can have crazy amounts of resentment so
that when you annoy them, you're triggering a nuclear
weapon of anger and resentment that sets off to
destroy your power and image.
I hope you enjoyed these tips and please think of
how you can apply each tip to the many different
aspects of your life. Think of how they can be
applied to business, social, dating, family, etc.

MUSAFIR CINTA

Pagi dan Matahari selalu menyapa
Malam dan Bintang selalu bercakap
Muara dan Lautan selalu bercengkrama
Embun dan Daun selalu berbicara
    Namun cinta dan hati belumlah seirama
    Mungkinkah hanya asa?
    Yang membumbung tinggi di angkasa
    Hingga sampai ke singgasana
    Tak tau dimana kan bisa bertahta
Duhai Engkau yang bernama Cinta
Kapankah kau kan bersama?
Kapankah kau kan menjelma?
Kapankah kau kan bawa sejumput asmara?
Kapankah kau kan jawab segala doa?
    Duhai Engkau yang bernama Cinta
    Kapankah kau kan mengarah?
    Kapankah kau kan datang menyapa?
    Hapuskan hati yang hampa
    Hiasi taman batin biar berbunga
    Lukiskan hidup biar penuh warna
    Obati segala luka
    Temani segala langkah
Duhai Engkau yang bernama Cinta
Dimanakah kau berada?
Aku mencari kemana-mana
Hingga lelah bibirku bertanya
Hingga keluh lidahku berkata
Kapankah kau bersua?
______________
Bengkel Ilmoe_ku, Wednesday, July 16th , 2008 at 02.10 A.M

How to Get Over a Painful Past Experience By Joshua Uebergang

Being rejected from a social conversation, a group,
a team, or job is just as painful, according to your
brain, as being punched in the face.

Amazing huh?

No wonder it can be so hard to get over a painful
past experience! Sometimes it feels like daggers
going through your body. Literally.
... and this is where the problem lies in getting
over painful experiences/memories. The intensity of
the problem.
The physical pain you experience can be cured by a
doctor. However, does a doctor actually heal your
wounds?
No. The doctor helps your body get into a state of
healing so it can heal itself.
The pain you experience from the past is
irreversible. There is nothing you can do about it.
You need to put your mind and body into a state that
allows it to heal itself emotionally.
One way to achieve this is time, but I'm sure you
don't want to waste ten years of your life living in
pain to heal a problem.
Another option is seeing a therapist. Should you
choose a therapist? It's up to you.
All therapy works for different people in different
situations. Even no therapy is therapy because time
itself is therapeutic.
Before you do decide on spending thousands of
dollars on someone who will listen to your problems,
I want you to do this exercise to help you get over
memories that you do not want affecting you.
Putting ourselves in a good mental and emotional
state is necessary for good communication and success
in general.
The exercise I'm about to share with you is powerful
because it doesn't change the content of your
experience. Your experience has happened and you
can't change it.
What the exercise does change is the process. The
exercise changes the attributions you make to the
past and future. These are things you can control.
Think of a pleasant experience you have had in the
past or imagine a pleasant experience you would like
to have.

See the image.
As you see the image, make it larger. Make the
image bigger, brighter, clearer, and move closer to
you.
As the image changes, notice how you feel.
Take your time as you see the image increase in
size. If you are reading this fast, slow down and do
the exercise at a slow speed. You'll discover
something really great.
After you've done that, move the image in the
opposite direction.
Take your time doing the exercise.
Gradually make the pleasant image smaller, dimer,
unclear, and distant from you.
Again, as the image changes, notice how you feel
this time.
Take your time.
Once you've done that little exercise, how did you
feel when the image become brighter and increased in
size? How did you feel when the image become smaller,
dim, and further from you?
Most people experience intense emotions when they
see a bright and large image. On the contrary, they
also experience little emotion when they see a small,
dim, and distant image.
You can probably see how this is playing out for
you in moving on from pain or not letting a past
experience affect you.
If you make unpleasant images large, bright, and up
close, while making pleasant images small, dim, and
distant, you will be an expert at feeling miserable!
People who wallow in their self-pity, people who
are in bad moods, and people who see nothing in life
walk around with BIG and BRIGHT unpleasant images
that are UP CLOSE. They also don't have these BIG and
BRIGHT pleasant images.
On the other hand, if you make pleasant images
large, bright, and up close, while making unpleasant
images small, dim, and distant, you will be an expert
at feeling happy!
This technique is effective because emotional
intensity is linked to memory. That is why we easily
remember our wedding day, a fight we had, or a time
when we were rejected by someone.
The emotions, visual, and auditory memories of
those experiences are intense!
Your unpleasant images are the painful movies
(experiences) you continually play in your mind,
while your pleasant images are whatever you see as
pleasurable to you.
Again, shrink the unpleasant images and see the
images going away from you. Make the pain visually
nothing and they will become nothing.
Next, having constructed your beliefs and defining
clarity for you pleasant image, intensify what you
want. Awaken your inner desire by constantly feeling,
thinking, seeing, and even touching and smelling what
your goal will be like.
The premise of the law of attraction works by
living your present as if it were your desired
future. Whether the law of attraction is true
doesn't matter because acting "as if" attracts the
thoughts and feelings you desire.
You will be able to get over past pain much faster
by shrinking those painful images and intensely
imagining those pleasurable images.

Perlunya Mengembangkan Bakat pada Diri Anak

Banyak orang tua menginginkan anaknya tumbuh cerdas, kreatif, mempunyai bakat mneonjol, unggul, dan kompetitif. Mereka berbondong-bondong memilihkan sekolah yang favorit untuk anaknya. Bahkan seringkali para orang tua memaksa naknya mengikuti les-les tambahan di lembaga pendidikan non-formal terkemuka. Mereka beranggapan bila anaknya unggul dalam nilai akademik, maka itu merupakan suatu kebanggaan tersendiri bagi para orang tua. Namu tidaklah demikian sebaliknya. Anggapan awam tersebut justru membuat kesempatan anak berkurang atau mungkin hilang, karena mereka tidak mempunyai kesempatan untuk mengembangkan bakat terpendam yang mereka miliki.
Pengertian Bakat
Bakat adalah kemampuan individu untuk melakukan tugas yang sedikit/ tidak tergantung pada latihan sebelumnya. Bakat perlu dipupuk, dilatih, dan dikembangkan karena anak berbakat mampu menghasilkan karya-karya besar yang gemilang. Mereka biasanya mempunyai daya imajinasi yang tinggi, menunjukkan keorisinilan, panjang akal, mampu berkreasi sendiri, dan mempunyai rasa ingin tahu yang besar.
Para orang tua haruslah memberi dukungan bila anaknya mempunyai bakat tertentu, yakni dengan melakukan pendekatan pada diri anak. Biarkan anka berkreasi dengan ide-idenya. Berilah semangat pada anak-anak anda agar mereka lebih percaya diri dengan kreasinya. Penuhilah apa yang mereka butuhkan selama itu tidak merugikan anak anda. Sebab dengan cara-cara seperti ini yang akan dapat mengembangkan potensi anak secara optimal.
Kaitan bakat dengan kreasi
Orang berbakat dan berprestasi bila mendapat pelatihan secara terus-menerus akan menghasilkan kualitas dan kuantitas hasil kerja yang unggul itu disebabkan karena mereka mempunyai kekayaaan abstraksi dan penalaran yang luar biasa.
Contoh nyata mantan anak-anak berbakat misalnya Michael Jackson, Chairil Anwar, Sapardi Djoko Damono, Katherine Mansfield, Taufik Hidayat, serta para ilmuwan terkenal di dunia seperti Albert Einstein, Thomas Alfa Edison, Galileo Galilei. dsb. Mereka berbakat karena mampu berkreasi dalam bidangnya masing-masing, yakni musik, olah raga, seni, studi, dan lain-lain.
Ada tiga faktor yang mempengaruhi bakat seseorang. Pertama, faktor keturunan/ heredity. Tidak jarang bila anak mempunyai bakat yang sama dengan orang tua mereka. Misalnya bila ayahnya berbakat menyanyi, si anak ada bakat menyanyi juga seperti ayahnya.. Contoh nyata adalah Enrique Iglesias yang mempunyai talenta seperti ayanya Julio Iglesias. Namun, disini faktor keturunan bukanlah faktor kunci. Tidak jarang anak berbakat pun lahir dari keluarga biasa-biasa saja. Kedua, faktor lingkungan. Faktor lingkungan bisa berarti lingkungan keluarga, lingkungan sekolah, dan lingkungan masyarakat. Faktor ini lebih banyak mendukung lahirnya anak berbakat karena dari hasil kebiasaan. Mereka terbiasa mengamati yang akhirnya mereka mencoba untuk melakukan apa yang mereka lihat. Contoh nyata yang terjadi di Bali, banyak orang berbakat melukis. Bakat melukis bukanlah dari faktor keturunan namun dari kebiasaan belajar yang akhirnya menimbulkan bakat baru dalam diri mereka. Ketiga, dukungan materiil. Faktor ini lebih banyak membantu kunci sukses anak berbakat. Karena untuk mengembangkan bakat tidak dibutuhkan dana yang sedikit. . Namun janganlah berkecil hati, saat ini kita bisa mendapatkan fasilitas-fasilitas secara gratis bila ingin mengembangkat bakat.

The Teaching of Speaking

The present curriculum used is KTSP. The standard competence of the first grade of Junior High School students is to enable the students to communicate in oral and written form using the appropriate language fluently and accurately in the interaction texts and short monologs especially in narrative, descriptive, and simple recount text. The curriculum explains that there are different characteristics that the oral and written language have. Unfortunately, the phenomenon happens that there are still many students who do not have ability in producing some sentences. Their style in speaking is still in surface area. They cannot differentiate to communicate English in oral and written form. By considering this fact, an English teacher should create appropriate technique to teach speaking. She or he must be able to make a new teaching method so that his/ her style in teaching is not monotonous.
There have been so many ways and theories found to help teacher to develop students’ capabilities in using English. Cross (1992: 281) stated that various kinds of speaking activities, such as role play and drama that can be done both in pairs and in groups, or games that is usually favorable to the students, hopefully, can be applied in English class. Teachers are expected to gain fresh insight into the nature of classroom communication and learn how to create materials that will engage the learners in meaningful face to face interaction. The objective of teaching speaking is to enable the English learners to use the foreign language as a medium of oneself conscious expression, then teacher needs to include activities which offer practice in negotiation and self-expression.
Richard (2003: 214) explains that there are three techniques in teaching speaking that can make the students improve their ability to produce the target language, acquire many of its nonverbal nuances, improve the ability to work cooperatively in group situations, and effectively deal affective issues. Those three techniques are:
1.Story telling
Stories have traditionally been used to teach, to entertain, and to explain the unknown. The activities are more appropriate to beginning levels, others, to more advanced levels. Exposing the students to a story before fully understanding the words can be highly motivating for beginning at any age. The same story can be used from time to time in different ways until a full understanding is achieved over a period of perhaps several months.
2.Role Play
Role play has high appeal for students because it allows them to be creative and to put themselves in another person’s place for a while. It can be tightly controlled; perhaps a s a logical development of dialogue in the textbook, or it can be relatively free, with considerable scope for imagination and creativity. When teacher uses this technique, the students as if are in the real life. They use their creativity in their acts. Hopefully, they can use their experience in the real situation.
3.Drama
Drama, even though an integral part of story telling and role play, constitutes its own separate category. It includes activities involving roles, plots, and dialogues which are written in play form to be memorized and acted on the stage or read aloud. Drama helps explore the world of emotions and nonverbal communication in the ESL/ EFL classroom.
Drama not only kelps the students to internalize language patterns by memorizing dialogue or to enhance listening skills by attending dramatized stories but also to express themselves despite the frustration of learning a new language. Drama helps the students to use reading to find meaning and act that meaning in an interpersonal context. Drama in the classroom usually takes on variety of forms, such as use of play scripts as literary text, Reader Theater, puppetry, etc.
References:
Cross, David. 1992. A Practical Handbook of Language Teaching. UK: Prentice Hall International Ltd.
Richard, Patricia A. 2003. Making It Happen – From Interactive to Participatory Language Teaching. New York: Pearson Education Inc.

DI RESTORAN

Kita berdua saja, duduk. Aku memesan
Ilalang panjang dan bunga rumput
Kau entah memesan apa. Aku memesan
Batu di tengah sungai terjal deras
    Kau entah memesan apa. Tapi kita berdua
    Saja, duduk. Aku memesan rasa sakit
    Yang tak putus dan nyaring lengkingya,
    Memesan rasa lapar yang asing itu.

(Sapardi Djoko Darmono)